


End of the rope? Nice to meet you, I'm Dwight.

by Emilys_List



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Angela - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-24
Updated: 2007-11-24
Packaged: 2017-12-19 05:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilys_List/pseuds/Emilys_List
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“How bout this. I don't tell Michael and in exchange you owe me one great big giant favor. Redeemable by me at a time and place of my choosing.” Dwight K. Schrute comes to collect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	End of the rope? Nice to meet you, I'm Dwight.

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS: General S4. Takes place between Money and Local Ad.  
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters that you recognize. They belong to Mssrs. Gervais, Merchant, and Daniels, and all associated corporations. No copyright infringement is intended.

“Oscar,” he said coolly. He felt the leaves crunch satisfactorily beneath his feet. A good sensation adrift in a sea of bleak, dark nothingness.

Oscar held up the pink message. “’Meet me outside at 3:17. It will be necessary to your survival.’ Is this a threat, Dwight?”

Dwight’s eyes scanned the parking lot. With his back to the wall, his eyes took one last discerning sweep. You can’t be too careful. “You may recall,” he said evenly, “that I’m harboring a large secret on your behalf – discovered in part because of my keen skills of deduction.” Oscar’s face looked blank – or was this an attempt at further subterfuge? Those crafty homosexuals. “You took a sick day about two years ago when you weren’t actually sick and I’ve held onto that for this moment right now.”

Oscar crumpled the note into a ball and stuffed it into his pocket. “Just out of curiosity, what do you want me to do?”

The word curiosity reminded him of that adage about cats and he moaned, but stuck to the task at hand. He slipped Oscar the orange folder. “I want you to kill Andrew Bernard.”

Oscar looked at him, his eyes wide. “Why would you even joke about that?”

“Open the folder,” Dwight sneered and Oscar shook his head.

“I’m an accountant, not an assassin.” But Oscar opened the folder Dwight had carefully prepared. A black and white photo garnered from a deliberate Google search. A thorough dossier. “Andy is related to Ted Danson?”

Dwight rolled his eyes and sighed. “Get over it. Read the document about acceptable methods of torture and murder.”

Oscar shut the folder. “No. Look Dwight, I think you’re a weird guy, but I never thought you were a dangerous weirdo. This is creepy.” He turned to leave.

“Andy Bernard is a threat to this entire office and the rest of the world! He must be eliminated.”

“Okay,” Oscar said. “Do I need to call the police?”

Dwight narrowed his eyes. If it’s hard ball that Martinez wanted, it’s hard ball he’d get. But. You know. Not in that gay way. “If you tell anyone about this conversation, I will report you to Michael. What do you think about that?” Dwight smiled smugly. He reveled in these moments when the upper hand was so justifiably his.

Oscar crossed his arms. “Dwight, I have this job until I die because I didn’t sue the company.”

And then there were those moments when the upper hand smacks you down; in this case he had been slapped by his own hand. Drat. “Okay, how about this. You don’t kill Andy, but you do something really, really horrible to him.”

Oscar shook his head and turned once again to go back in. Then he turned back. “I can’t believe I’m getting involved in this, I feel like Jim. Why do you want Andy killed?”

Dwight shrugged casually. “He’s competition, I want him out of the way.”

Oscar frowned. “We track revenue. You sell at least double what Andy does.”

Dwight smiled. “Damn right. But still—“

“Does this have something to do with Angela?” He could feel his face changing, softening, and he hated that. “I sit next to her. You two carried on a pretty obvious relationship.”

Dwight lowered his eyes as mysterious moisture gathered in his tear ducts. “And so again you’ve thwarted me, Oscar Martinez.”

He heard Oscar sigh and saw him shuffle his feet. “You need to get over this. It’s an excruciating pain, but it will go away. And you killing Andy would probably not make a good impression on Angela. Ten commandments and all.”

Dwight nodded and looked up, straightening his glasses. The day was impossibly sunny. “I would never have killed Andy. That was a task for you.” He took his folder back and they headed inside.

“How about I throw his lunch away for you?”

“That’s a stupid idea. But. Yes.”

They walked in together, past security and went back to the office. Oscar never made mention of what transpired. Dwight supposed they were even – for now.

.end.  



End file.
